dee - viscerate.com

GIRL
Diana Evans
called Dee
since May 25th, 1980
terrorising inner-city Melbourne
consuming flat whites
producing words, hers and other people's
contact dee [at] viscerate [dot] com

SITE
viscerate.com
consisting of personal reflections
photography by Amy Q
archives here

Saturday, December 08, 2001

After listening not even quite all the way through the new Kittie CD, I think I can finally put in my band order. Like a pizza order, yanno. Now I just have to find some place that delivers.

I want music with good percussion, complex rhythm and a strong bass. Searing guitar is good. Loud, growly, attitude-filled but musical songs; metal with intelligence and class, please. And vocals, preferably female, of the crystalline purity of deep, dark, underground pools.

Lyrics? Who gives a fuck.

Kittie came so close. Why does she insist on snarling like... well, like a waif trying to do a Rob Zombie impersonation? Dozy bint.

5:20 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Friday, December 07, 2001

Between about 4:30 and 6pm tonight I'm going to be in Starbucks, reading and generally hanging about ruining their image. This is primarily for Puss, so he knows where to find me, or rather, where to find the Ultimate X-Men comic I will be picking up. However, should anyone else care to pop in and say hello, who am I to quibble?

3:02 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Microwaves tell you recipes to cook in them now? Soon we'll have ones that will go out and do the bloody shopping for you too.

Except for the days when they just couldn't be arsed, and then you'll come home to Chinese takeaway and a note stuck to the microwave door saying: "Don't try anything, I have a headache."

12:25 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Thursday, December 06, 2001

There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
What?
Don't cross the memes.

(Sub/pop culture fun for hours.)

10:13 PM - link to this - (0) comments

PS: I should have put this up a few days ago when it was official and all, but I've joined up with the inspiration that is Soul Kitchen. It's a group writing blog on weekly topics, and frankly, it just looks like a lot of fun. Have a look. Gives me some inspiration, and somewhere to put my little flashes of writing beyond my 'Facile' bit in the Visible Ego section, which I'm sure no one reads.

8:14 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Fuck fuckity fuck. Bugger. The university, for no reason other than the fact that last year I worked a total of about twenty hours for the university redesigning a site that was never used, has decided to change my student number. So what, I say. And then I remember that my email address utilises my student number, so off I go to Student Services to ask them if this will change things.

Here's your new number, they say.

Thanks, I say. Now do I have to use it?

You'll use it to collect your pay and to access your ISIS details, they tell me.

Hoo-bloody-ray, I reply. I don't get paid any more and ISIS can bite my big toe. What about my email?

Oh, um, well... we don't know.

At which point I snapped and killed the whole bumbling, inept, useless fucking lot of them with a sharpened paper clip and my newly-collected Gnosticism essay.

They suck. A lot. But hey, I got my results today and I passed everything, and got a 78 in Historical Jesus, which means that since my essay was only a distinction, I probably caned the exam with a big stick. Which is amusing, because I thought it was a rather onanist exercise.

3:17 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Help! Help! The vacuum cleaner is attacking me!

12:32 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Wednesday, December 05, 2001

Wonka's Wicked Chocolate Mudslide. Get some. Now. Not only is it absolutely the best chocolate known to humans in this plane of existence, but they're also doing the five Golden Tickets things. I want a Golden Ticket! I want one now!

(If I was one of the five children from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I'd be Veruca Salt.)

8:03 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I've gone test mad.

If I were a work of art, I would be Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa.

I am extremely popular and widely known. Although unassuming and unpretentious, my enigmatic smile has charmed millions. I am a mystery, able to be appreciated from afar, but ultimately unknowable and thus intriguing.

Which work of art would you be? The Art Test



(Hah! This one about made me fall off my chair laughing. I'd rather like to be... I dunno. Monet's Waterlillies, or something. I like Impressionists.)

2:59 PM - link to this - (0) comments

If I was a James Bond Villain, I'd be Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Once again, I could have told them that without taking the test. They want me to be played by Donald Pleasence, but I prefer the early Blofeld, who had no name, and no face, and was just an arm that stroked a cat. I liked the cat. Nards and I used to declare that the James Bond Cat was the highest form of life.

It occurs to me only now, after all these years of ignorance, that Blofeld (or SPECTRE's No. 1, as he was then) must be what Inspector Gadget's Dr Claw was a take-off of. Oh dear, I feel so slow. But never fear, I get there eventually.

1:15 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Tuesday, December 04, 2001

Hm: I talk to more than my computer. I talk to the telephone as well. And even, occasionally, a fax.
Me: I've been known to talk to vacuum cleaners. Usually while kicking them.
Hm: Hey, don't hurt my friends!
Me: Oh, you wouldn't be friends with these vacuum cleaners. They're bad.
Hm: They come from the wrong side of convo, huh?
Me: Yep. And they hang out with rogue irons and those Birko kettles we're not allowed to use.
Hm: Ew. Irons.
Me: Told you they weren't your sort of appliance.

7:57 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Hitting 'auto-summarise' in Word does interesting things to my novel.

3:00 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Monday, December 03, 2001

I remember when the Baby Sitters Club started. I remember when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles started. I remember when I was too old for the movie of the former, and knew the entirety of the movie of the latter off by heart. I remember the thrill when I first truly discovered fantasy, finishing David Eddings' Pawn of Prophecy in two nights with childish glee. I remember when the only way I could read in bed after 8:30 was to do it clandestinely by the light streaming through my window from next door's dining room. I remember when perming your fringe was cool. I remember when wearing knee-high socks scrunched artistically down around your ankles was cool. I remember the 80s were full of stupid fashions like that.

I'm feeling old and memory-lane-ish tonight. DOUG knows why.

9:30 PM - link to this - (0) comments

Once again, I slept and dreamed. This time, I was heavily involved with some guy who turned out, upon drifting towards consciousness, to be called Mark. My name was Mary. We were very close and very happy, and we shared a room, which kept changing as we moved around in some sort of bizarre complex looking for a better one. We were happy, that is, until his mother showed up, and started being a bitch to me. She wanted to go something, I think feel me up, that sounds about weird enough, and I told her to go to hell. At which point we started having a wrestling match, and of course I took the tramp down! Mark apparently wasn't very happy with me beating seven kinds of shit out of his mother, though, and we broke up. Quite bitterly.

This is what happens when you sleep during the night.

Obviously my subconscious is on drugs.

7:24 AM - link to this - (0) comments

Sunday, December 02, 2001

I'm happy that Lizz is back and now she's filling out interesting surveys that I think I should too, because it looks interesting.

1. What are the 3 rarest cd's/tapes that you own?
Hmm, not sure. Definitely my Zeitgeist promo single CD. I mean, the thing's official, but it's still burnt, with a single computer-printed page insert. I won it at a goth night. Yay me. Second would be, I guess, the Funker Vogt CD "Maschine Zeit", which I also won at a goth night. And after that, I really don't know. Maybe Letters to Cleo "Aurora Gory Alice". Or maybe the Preaching to the Perverted soundtrack.
2. What are 3 most common cd's/tapes you own?
Crowded House's greatest hits album and Metallica's "S&M". Seems like every second person owns those. And maybe Queen's greatest hits. That's a common one. Or Alanis Morissette's "Jagged Little Pill". Yes, I was once a teenage girl.
3. Name 3 movies that nobody will believe you've never seen.
Apocalypse Now, apparently. Everyone who hears now, with the Redux out and all, can't believe that I haven't seen this movie. "Call yourself a movie goddess," they say. Hmph. And I can barely believe I've never seen The Exorcist. No one would ever believe I've never seen Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, but that's because I've seen it at least five times...
4. Name 3 movies that you're reluctant to admit you love.
There are none such. Because every movie I love I love for very good reasons that I'm quite willing to expound upon in defense of my selection. I mean, even Tank Girl. I love it. I think it's great. It's just so much fun!
5. 3 authors you've read most (or all) of the work by? (4 if you include JK Rowling).
(Bah. JK Rowling doesn't count; she's only got four books so far.) JV Jones, and I'm dying here; when's the next one coming out, Julie? I've read almost all of Eddings, except The Losers and High Hunt, but that's twenty books anyway, so isn't that enough? What else. I don't know. I've read the entirety of the Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan thus far, and a fair slug of the mediocre Conan books (and I'm still waiting for Conan the Constipated). Plus I've read all of KJ Parker except the first book of the new series, which I'm dying to get my hands on.
6. Your 3 favourite PC games?
Carmageddon, the Carmageddon Splat Pack, and Carmageddon 2? OK, Carmageddon as one game. I loved and adored a game called Pirates! Gold, but it's fairly old now, and runs too fast on my computer to be playable. I don't buy a lot of games these days, but I guess Baldur's Gate would have to be right up there too. It's a great game.
7. 3 blogs you think more people should read?
Mine! Ahem. Sorry. Maura.com isn't really a blog, but I think everyone should read it. Maura has a way with words. Miss Melissa makes me giggle and think. She's great. And I would say Shauny, but everyone reads her already, right?
8. If everyone else answers no to this question, will you too?
Let me ask the committee.

6:40 PM - link to this - (0) comments

I slept, and dreamed, and dreamt that instead of Melbourne, the Male and I were moving to Sydney, except now we both came from Gladstone. We were looking at a house which was, apparently, the first ever built on reclaimed land. 'New' land, people kept calling it, struck with awe. I didn't understand, and said so, since half of Gladstone is built on reclaimed mud flats. It was a big house, anyway, and kept on getting bigger, the way things in dreams do. It was meant to be a beach house, and then the beach was right behind it, and there was a row of showers and lots of space.

And then there was a showdown of some sort, a strange and morphing experience, as I understood, the way one does in dreams, that the only way Arthur (don't ask, I don't know) was going to emerge victorious was if he got in touch with his feminine side. He managed it, and we all settled down for a celebratory coffee, with water boiled in a saucepan, as some random guy plotted to create a huge corporate empire made of really funky architecture.

This is what happens when you sleep in the afternoon, boys and girls. Let that be a warning to you.

4:52 PM - link to this - (0) comments