The House Rules

  1. Separate recycling and compost from landfill rubbish.
  2. It’s pronounced skellington.
  3. Your mum’s pronounced skellington.
  4. No cats on the kitchen bench or dining room table.
  5. Last one to bed closes windows and doors and switches off lights.
  6. Reach into the back of the fridge at your own risk.
  7. Cats are not allowed to climb the curtains or flyscreens.
  8. Use the right glass for the beer; we have five different types of beer glasses for a reason.
  9. If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.
  10. No clawing Mummy’s face.
  11. The only people who call the landline are telemarketers and mothers.
  12. No chewing Daddy’s legal papers.
  13. You can get away with anything if you’re cute.

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Australian, wordy, beery, geeky. Should I mention that I talk to myself? (No, don't. It'll just make people nervous.)

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